The Gamemakers Enter the Games

               The deep voice of the commentators booms through the living room. “Oh look at this. The Gamemkers have a special trick up their sleeves for today.” The entire room sits in silence as we wait and see what the Gamemaker will do to bring attention back to the games and entertain the capitol. A minute or two later a ginormous tsunami come crashing down onto the shore. I watched as 2 tributes were pulled under by the strong currents. Thank goodness it wasn’t Gerome because he doesn’t even know how to swim. The waves keep crashing in, one after another. Ripping down trees and destroying all of the land. I could see tributes sprint as fast as a cheetah up to higher grounds to stay save. Wave after wave coming to kill them all. It was almost as if the waves wanted to eat the land and people for breakfast.

Finally the waves seized to exist and what was left was demolished. Trees were ripped out of the ground and bodies lay everywhere. Some unconscious while others were dead but it was hard to tell the difference. The camera zoomed in onto the people who raced up to the hill. I saw, standing tall, my older brother Gerome. He’s done it again and he is my hero. Our whole living room burst into excitement when we all have noticed that it was Gerome standing to represent district ten.

3 Comments on The Gamemakers Enter the Games

  1. 4megan
    May 28, 2014 at 1:20 pm (10 years ago)

    Although the writing was very good with little to no grammatical errors there was no emotion. You say how he is your hero and how Gerome cant swim but you need more about what you are feeling. A good piece I just wish there was more.

    Reply
  2. 4joem
    May 28, 2014 at 1:21 pm (10 years ago)

    In your post I wish you could have added some more information about Gerome your brother so the readers would know why you are rooting for Gerome. Also there was a grammatical in the sentence “I could see tributes sprint as fast as a cheetah up to higher grounds to stay save.” Next time I think you should go back and re read your post. Another thing is that you can use a bit more sensory details to make writing even more interesting. Overall, if some changes are made you can make your writing great.

    Reply
  3. 4julia
    May 29, 2014 at 2:15 am (10 years ago)

    Very few grammatical mistakes but there were some spelling errors but nothing major. I wished you would have added more at the end and how you felt when you found out you hero survived. Overall it was very good but lacked some emotion.

    Reply

Leave a Reply